“Everyone I knew did it on a Saturday. I was doing it on a Tuesday morning before work, alone, in my car.”
In Ireland coke isn't even seen as a drug half the time. It's at weddings, christenings, the GAA club toilets. That's what makes it so dangerous. Nobody thinks you have a problem until you're €30,000 in debt to a lad who knows where your mam lives.
I was doing a bag a day by twenty-seven. Heart palpitations, nosebleeds, panic attacks at 5am. I genuinely thought I was going to die in my sleep more than once. I'd lie there with my hand on my chest counting the beats.
The turning point wasn't dramatic.
The turning point wasn't dramatic. My little nephew asked why my nose was always bleeding. He was six. I didn't have an answer that wasn't a lie, and I was so tired of lying.
I didn't go to the rooms. I went to a counsellor through my GP, deleted every number, and moved back to Mayo for a year. Boring as hell. That was the point.
I still drink at the weekend, carefully, and never in the places I used to use. I haven't touched coke in two years. That's my version, and it's working.
What helped Rob
- Moving away from the scene
- Deleting dealer numbers
- Counselling via GP
- Telling one person the full truth
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