Eleven years on gear

I started on heroin at nineteen. By twenty-five I'd lost my flat, my son and most of my teeth. I overdosed twice on the quays. The second time a stranger with a naloxone kit brought me back. I never got her name.

Methadone saved my life. I know there's people who look down on it, who say you're just swapping one drug for another. Fine. On gear I was robbing. On methadone I'm working three days a week in a bike shop.

I still smoke a joint some weekends.

I still smoke a joint some weekends. People in the rooms told me that's not real recovery. Maybe not by their rules. I stopped going to those rooms and found a key worker who actually listened.

I see my son every Saturday now. We go to Dalymount. He's fourteen and he knows everything, I told him myself. I can't say I'm sober. I can say I'm still here, and he still has a da.